Joke Tym....

WIFE: i'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!

> >>-------------------------------
MISTER: pag namatay ka, isusulat ko sa nitso mo "MALAMIG NUNG BUHAY,
MAS MA LAMIG NUNG MAMATAY!"
MISIS: Ah ganun?! sa nitso mo naman "SA WAKAS NANIGAS DIN!"

> >>--------------------------------
WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL",
kaya ito uwi agad ako..

> >>---------------------------
SEXY: Maawa ka! meron ako, meron ako!
RAPIST: AHH! Walang meron-meron sa kin! TITIKMAN KITAA!!
SEXY: WAG! AY!
RAPIST: Yaakk!! Meron ka nga! Meron kang itlog. >>Bakla!

> >>-----------------------------
1st night lola wear see thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lola wear t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd nyt lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, >>gusot-gusot!!"

> >>--------------------------------
Juan: b-day ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.

> >>------------------------------
Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! ! My dad says we are >descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

> >>----------------------------
RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA: we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

> >>---------------------------
Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.

> >>--------------------------
KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na! ;tayo dito wala pa rin siya!
Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya."