AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget
about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

*You only need 2 tools: WD-40 & Duct Tape
If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40
If it shouldn't move and does, use duct tape

*Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them......Never
pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.......If you woke up
breathing,
congratulations, you get another chance.....And finally, be really nice
to
your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty
your bedpan..............